The numbers of those who are sick continue to grow.

As do the number of protestors.

Some days all I can see is that the sick are forgotten and the protestors are gassed.

It seems insignificant to say this amidst so much turmoil, but I cancelled another trip this week.

And I finished packing up our house for another move.

These short sentences do not even scratch the surface of the sadness of this summer.

But they also do not reflect the hope.

Or the light.

When the darkness in the world feels newly oppressive, and it reaches further than I previously realized,

I take a deep breath, I lament.

And then I let my eyes light onto joy.

I have found myself wondering what we will remember when we look back on the summer of 2020.

So for my own heart, I want to make a small record of the things I don’t want to forget.

The light, the hope and the joy.

Here’s what I have so far:

Picture book puffy clouds in a bright blue sky.

Riding with the windows down to Arkansas and back again >>> Sun-burned arm and wind-blown hair.

Sunrises while driving. The one that was pink and sprawling, covering every direction I looked. And the one was gray and yellow and blue, breaking through a hazy fog that covered the road for the better part of an early morning drive.

Fields and highway shoulders full of yellow flowers.

Seeing the (long overdue) removal of a Confederate monument in Little Rock

Protesting on Juneteenth with my brother in my hometown

Seeing the George Floyd Memorial in Little Rock

Getting a weekend of hiking in with Taido while Simon was away.

Giant ferns covering the trails.

Hiking up to sweeping views of the Mississippi River.

And back down through every possible shade of green.

Eating many, MANY rice bowls with hummus, vegetables and beet kraut or kimchi. Our most regular + simple quarantine meal.

Returning to the Oh-Be-Joyful Recreation Area in Colorado.

Being flooded with memories and making new ones.

Hiking in Aspen groves with dear friends.

Spotting Columbines (the Colorado State flower) in the woods, usually hiding, but always a delight to find.

Visiting a longtime favorite bookstore.

Camp 4 Coffee.

Teocali Burritos.

Playing games around the campfire.

Climbing to the top of Mt. Crested Butte and then riding the lift down.

Celebrating with pizza or burritos and drinks after long days of hiking.

Soaking sore feet in the cold river water.

How much better food tastes when you’ve been outside all day.

Remembering that I love to sleep outside, with rushing water nearby.

The star-filled night sky.

Watching Simon climb mountains all day and read by the fire at night.

Taido waking us up in the dark to climb.

Hot coffee in a familiar blue enamel cup.

Watching the moon and the sunrise while driving to a trailhead.

Long last day of climbing.

The slow, methodic meditation of one step after the other.

Counting out 100 steps. Then 75. Then 50.

Remembering to just breathe.

Slowly reaching the shoulder.

And then getting to the top of Mt. Shavano.

Being above 14,000 feet, on top of the world.

Feeling shaky and scared looking down.

Remembering other climbs in younger days (on younger knees).

Packing up camp and heading home with sore legs, tired feet and new Colorado memories.

Listening to Simon talk about climbing mountains while driving long stretches of highway.

Receiving the beautiful book Braiding Sweetgrass in the mail from a friend and fellow hiker/nature lover, and soaking it up as a perfect follow up to my weeks in the woods.

So. Many. Gifts.

This week, I started walking together with a group of ladies through the body practices from My Grandmother’s Hands via Zoom.

Next week we move to a new duplex across town, and then the next week Simon returns to online schooling.

So even though the heat is hanging on, I will release summer for now, and look ahead to what comes next.

Whatever comes, I will not forget that each day (and each season) holds a kind of secret gift, but kind of like a Colorado Columbine, it seems I have to be looking for them.

The post Summer (Oh Be) Joyful appeared first on Alison Chino.

When I read these words, out of Sarah Young’s Jesus Today this week I realized that I was holding onto the good gifts of my summer.

When I arrived in Arkansas in June I began to soak in every detail.

I drank deeply of place and people I dearly love.

Constantly welling up with emotion and awe at being granted a summer season at home.

But towards the end of the summer, and on my return to Scotland I was holding everything with tight fists.

Big things and little things.

Oldest son and parents and family and friends.

Hot sun and swimming pool and Vitamix smoothies and bottomless bowls of tortilla chips.

They were mine and I wanted them.

Not just for a season, but for all seasons.

Beware of feeling entitled to my good gifts. 

Oh yes, entitlement was rearing its ugly head in my heart.

And so it is time. It is past time.

To list as many of the incredible gifts of a summer at home that I can remember.

And then to open my hands to the sky.

And let them go.

Because my God is a good God.

And He has more good gifts to give.

And though I don’t know what they are and maybe like a spoiled child, I think I do not want them, I am trying.

I still have another phase of letting go in the days ahead. (Saying goodbye to Scotland.)

And then I am praying that God will begin the wrenching open of my heart to what is next.

SUMMER GRATEFUL

familiar faces at the airport // feeling the hot night air // sweating // driving my mama’s car into the Ozark Mountains // gorgeous green trees and hills // arriving at camp and finding Cole // big hugs and sweet reunions // Ben jumping in on work crew and Simon jumping in as a camper // my three boys together, serving, loving // goody bags from friends // going into church and seeing so many faces I love // hearing Dena sing and Harold preach // the smell of honeysuckles // bunnies on the walking path // black-eyed susans // the sticky scent of summer // going to the Boultinghouse’s farm // Sandy and Carol holding a baby lamb // fresh pesto with basil from the garden //

ARKANSAS GRATEFUL

going to the pool // American flags all over everything // Sonic happy hour // the smell of sunscreen // flip flops // Simon with his cousins // making smoothies in my mama’s Vitamix blender // seeing Daddy up early in the mornings with his books, getting ready to preach // long flowy skirts // singing at church // smelling like a mix of a dozen perfumes after so many hugs at church // being with my daddy on Father’s Day // celebrating SB’s bday at Bev’s and laughing so hard // bran muffins // live jazz bar with my princesas // pedicures // sticky sweaty walking with my Mama // Simon’s birthday // chik-fil-a // chocolate cake and Blue Bell vanilla ice cream // getting gas station fountain drinks with Simon // Ben riding the Halls’ borrowed scooter up and down the street // seeing my aunt for the first time in three years // meeting up with friends // froyo // watermelons and berries // biting into a peach and the juice drizzling down my chin

BEACH GRATEFUL

Peter and Whitney inviting Simon and me to Fort Morgan // Mama keeping, loving, cooking for Ben and Cole // sandy feet // chairs and a tent all set up // Simon squealing when he realized how warm the water was // floating in the waves // Peter making breakfast // coffee and mimosas in the morning // dinners together with lots of friends // kids looking for crabs with flashlights // going for long walks by myself in the morning // seeing the sun rise over the water // fresh fish // a little bit of sunburn sting // fireworks on the beach // Lulu’s // laughing so hard // catching up with old friends // meeting new friends // shrimp and grits // glowsticks // Simon piled on the couch with Wilson and Campbell, reading // Whitney taking photos // shrimp boil in the rain // being still // Chris playing guitar // chairs in a circle // talking to Taido and MP, both celebrating big accomplishments: a turned in thesis, school finished well

COUSIN GRATEFUL

Simon and I making our flight to Chicago even though we were sitting at the wrong gate // a new house // Fourth of July // lemonade stand // sleeping in my Grandmother’s old bed // working with Anna at Blackberry // backyard fire pit // s’mores // walking to the library and the park // picking raspberries in the old backyard // Taido and MP arriving // processing this hard in between time together with Taido // Bob and Anna loaning us their car // road trip to Arkansas // laughing hard // music // taking five cousins to meet up with the other four // Simon’s reunion with Campbell and Wilson // 9 cousins at the pool // playing “Empire” // singing in the choir with Peter, MP and Emily // Simon’s baptism // Taido preaching // letter from my sweet friend in Scotland // rainy afternoon // watching movies and eating popcorn  // six big cousins staying up late together // coffee and tears in the early morning with Diane // homemade popsicles // outlet mall shopping // giant chick-fil-a nugget platter at the pool // drinks with Carol // four cousins to youth group // MP seeing her friends // Taido getting a “yes” from Tubingen

COLORADO GRATEFUL

Road trip to Denver // CoraFaye’s Soul Food // Picking up Anna // Trader Joes // finding Daddy at the campsite outside of Lake City // Last car arriving // Everyone finding their spots in tents and hanging up hammocks // All nine cousins around a campfire // Taido and I having our own tent // Aspen trees // lunch and ice cream in Lake City // boys buying slingshots and knives // playing Empire and Bungalo // the sound of the river running // being with Cole on his 19th birthday // Daddy giving wild rides in his car // Ouray Hot Springs // everyone racing on the obstacle course in the water // Peter giving the name “Malachi” for our burger order–making us laugh // sharing highs and lows around the campfire // TC making salmon and “special pasta” // walking to the river to get more “perfect” stones for the slingshots // reading in a tent in the rain // peak climb for six big cousins // lunch in town with three “littles” // chicken fried steak // kids sad to be leaving camp // last night at a hotel in Pueblo // swimming and grilling burgers // Phineas choosing John Stott and Mama choosing Jason Mraz for the last round of Empire // praying for each other by the pool

DOGTOWN GRATEFUL

giant washing machine and dryer // being back at the pool, back in the hot sun // lunch with the Halls // dinner with Earles // hearing Bobby preach // singing Victory in Jesus // sitting with Nikki // crying through church // crying to Sarabeth on Sunday afternoon // Mexican food and margaritas // walking with Mama // taking MP to the farm to talk about her trip to Kenya with the Boultinghouses // thank you dinner at the Eubanks // jumping in the pool at the end // Diane’s prayers // early morning family photos with Whitney // saying goodbye to Cole and MP and Taido //  calmer dinner table with only 4 grandkids // watching Napoleon Dynamite // frozen yogurt with a friend // dinner and late night drinks at The Pantry with friends // River Market peaches // breakfast at Community Bakery // pool, pool, pool // playing games with Simon and Campbell // Daddy’s sermon on hope // singing It is Well // praying with Skyla // summer farmers’ market dinner // meeting Kelly for coffee // walking on  the Big Dam Bridge with Donna // being hot and sweaty and still loving it // Blackberry Pie // final trip to the pool // Ben at Good Eats // saggy bathing suit bottoms on little kids at the end of summer // early coffee with Diane and Tanja // making sushi with Cole, Wilson, Simon and Whitney // crepes on our last morning // tears // the hard goodbye // seeing familiar faces at the airport // welcome ladies passing out mints // strangers who call me “sweetie” // that being so sad is an indicator of so much love

The post Summer Grateful appeared first on Alison Chino.

Yesterday I dropped Taido at the airport and now he’s in Scotland.

Just like that.

So, I Guess This Means We’re Really Moving.

The kids and I leave in a week, so we are soaking up the end of the summer at the lake with our cousins.

This summer has been full to the brim of wonderful, and I am trying to hold each little detail in my heart.  Treasures to carry on my journey.

So. Very. Grateful.

Here are a few highlights of our summer:

almost daily trips to the pool

walks around the lake

days at the Boultinghouse farm

precious time with friends: on the road, at church, at events, at lunch, at breakfast, at the pool, at the lake, in the midst of packing tubs at my house

singing through tears on Sunday mornings at church

Adventures in Colorado

yummy summer food

harvesting tomatoes, squash, purple hull peas and okra

drinks with friends

Ben and Mary Polly serving at Good Eats (summer feeding program at church)

summer camps

trips to and from Chicago

lots of milestone birthday celebrations

seven

practicing gratefulness with my small group

cards full of kind words

bittersweet goodbyes

YOUR TURN!

What are the moments in your summer you are most grateful for?

The post Summer Grateful appeared first on Alison Chino.

I am so grateful for a wonderful weekend at Castle Bluff with our middle school students from church.  It’s been a couple of years since I made it to one of Taido’s camps so I had enough distance that I was able to wonder afresh at the experience.

Lots of treasures on my Grateful List today:

sweet gal riding shotgun with me to and from camp: Hannah!

all six Chinos getting to go this time: Taido speaking, me leading a small group, Cole serving on work crew, MP and Ben as campers, and Simon tagging along.  We were never all together, but it still made me happy to know we were all there.

Simon’s enthusiasm about being at camp, riding in and even driving the mule, “helping” in the sound booth and watching the madness all weekend

so many new faces

seeing the face of someone from years ago in the eyes of their child

the sacrifice of time and energy by so many who could spend their weekend differently

older students serving younger students

new songs

and old songs

a room full of pure crazy, going bananas

girls learning in the tiniest of ways to extend mercy and grace to one another

a hike on an old, familiar trail

an old cross

fall color popping up everywhere

misty mornings

a new building rising from the Ozark dirt and clay and the hope of more and more people having the chance to get away

catching up with folks I am usually just passing on Sundays

a wise fellow leader

the squeals of kids on the zip line for the millionth time or for the first

watching kids let go of fear and step backwards off the rappelling deck

Ben’s face after he rappelled off the new deck for the first time

kids who have been to camp before sharing their favorite spots and moments with kids who were there for the first time

late night giggles in rooms packed with girls

hammocks strung between bunks, between tree trunks and from rafters

7th grade drama making me so happy that I never have to go back to middle school, and at the same time reminding me to pray more diligently for students who are facing a battle every day

gorgeous, sun-drenched drive home on curvy roads and through dreamy autumn forests

a pot of soup welcoming my family and me at home

Our camp Mama, Rhonda Bentley, who spent her 50th birthday with 100 middle school students.  Her big heart for seeing this ministry done is mirrored in so many other sweet souls.  She pulls them all together with her clipboard and spreadsheets, but the serving, cooking, playing, singing, washing, belaying, teaching, leading, praying, driving and working that happens in one of these crazy weekends is the body of Christ in action.  I love getting to see it in action!

I brought a few leaves home with me and when I opened my Bible yesterday morning and saw them I said a prayer of thanks for all these blessings and more prayers of hope for the threads that kids will trace back to this experience as they count their own blessings years from now.

instagram creds: @hannahowens12, @nhill13, @lillyroxursox, @charlieallen24, @michellelfoster, @alisonchino

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But I am celebrating more than just that she was born today.

I am giving thanks for the difference between last year and today.

Last year at this time Mama was in a hospital, she weighed less than 100 pounds and was struggling to retain consciousness.  After weeks of testing, she had little hope left that she would ever know what was really wrong with her.

Flash forward a year and she is full of hope and living life again.  She rode a zip line with her grandchildren last week.

Through taking several brave measures, one being the involvement of a therapist with a good heart, Mama began to manage her symptoms successfully, even as she continued seeing doctor after doctor in an attempt to isolate her physical problems to a certain culprit.

She learned to live with the ambiguity of her illness.  She learned to take life a day at a time.  She learned to rest.

She shined light into a lot of darkness, just in case there was an unturned stone that might lead to healing.

She found medicines that worked, but she hated taking them.  She stopped taking them and got worse.  She started taking them again reluctantly.  She made pacts with my dad and me that she would not stop taking them again without talking to us.  She kept those pacts even though it was hard.  She kept them even though there is a demon that tells us that we don’t really need the things in life that make us better, be it medicine, exercise, spinach or scriptures.  She faced that demon down and for the most part, she won.

As I write all that out, it seems like a lot to accomplish in a year, but I can assure you that it was a long year (especially fall) and that there were many setbacks along the way.  There were many days that it seemed to Mama like she would never really feel good again, and she had to accept the reality that her new normal might be very different from what she wanted it to be.

Also, even though I am isolating this journey to the last year, it is really so much longer.  It is a whole life of needing to be all things to all people. It is trying to keep up with a husband who was blessed with boundless energy and youth.  It is not admitting weakness. It is equating being busy with self worth.  And it is being ruled by shame and guilt rather than passion and joy.

And this journey will continue.  Like many before her, Mother will fight some of these battles her whole life.  But I believe that the progress she abandoned herself to this year has opened the door for God to give her what she really wanted all along.

A diagnosis.

The knowledge of what she is up against.

Just a few weeks ago, Mama tested positive for Lyme Disease.  We’re not even going to talk about how many books she has read about this disease since she got the results.  (We attack all things in our family by reading.  If you know enough about something, you have control over it, right? Wrong.)

I don’t know why she wasn’t tested for Lyme Disease a year ago, but it amazes me to consider what she might have missed if she had moved forward with a diagnosis instead going down a different path of discovery.

Learning to live with uncertainty about what was wrong with her was the battle my mama needed to fight this year.

That I got to fight that battle alongside her is a gift I am still unwrapping.

I don’t know how her health will progress.  Come to think of it, none of us know how we will feel tomorrow or what is coming next year. This is the Cloud of Unknowing that we live under every day, even if we are oblivious to it.

But the cloud makes me more acutely aware of daily blessings.

A few of them from the last year…

Feeling good enough to take a morning walk.  Rain falling.  Jumbline.  A man who asks good questions.  Post-therapy lunches.  Cancelled plans.  Pages full of encouraging words.  Making it through a long drive.  A day without fear.  An hour without self-condemnation.

Surrendering to not knowing and comfort in a God who knows.

Letting go.  Holding on.

Cheers to a new year and new journeys.  To feeling good enough to hike trails and ride zip lines with grandkids on good days.  To finding joy in resting well on the others.

The post Celebrating Mama appeared first on Alison Chino.

I hope you had a wonderful Labor Day weekend.

Ours was full of food, friends and squeezing in those last summer memories.

Labor Day officially marks the end of summer for me.  Even though we hit 100 degrees yesterday and we have not yet seen the end of the three digit temperatures in Little Rock, I feel like it’s time for fall.

Here in the deep south, fall might have to be just an autumn colored airy dress for a little while.

We’ve been trying a new chore system this month that involves our kids more in the cooking.  They even get to choose what they want to fix on their night of the week.  Ben picked quesadillas and Cole chose sausage mushroom risotto this week. Yum.

We also made pizza, salsa, waffles and a new very special treat that we’ll be sharing the recipe for soon!  Chocolate and Peanut Butter!

Mary Polly got creative with her time off school updating my children’s book archives with new pictures.

We also managed to fit in trips to the Clinton Presidential Park Bridge, the library, the pool (last day it was open!), the farmer’s market and to see some sweet baby twins that were just born to our friends.  Gasp!  Needless to say, we are in LOVE with Samuel and Simone.

Happy Monday, I mean, Tuesday.

Hello to a new week of projects, after I clean up from this weekend.

The post instagram weekend: labor day appeared first on Alison Chino.

Today my only girl is 13.

She has grown up so much in the last year, and yet I still have so much I want her to know.

I want her to dream bigger-than-life dreams but I want her to stay close to me.

I am alternately bursting with pride in the young woman she is becoming and rolling my eyes at the stubborn teen that is all huffs and sass.

I am incredibly thankful for her.

Mary Polly’s actual birthday will be pretty low key because we have planned a grand adventure to which she and I are counting down the days.

A dream come true.

And as dream trips tend to do, I hope it will spur on in her a wanderlust that will take her to faraway places on her own.

I hope she will go…

There and back again.

To share her stories with me.

The post Thirteen appeared first on Alison Chino.

My sister and her kids came in town last week to get a little bit of Arkansas and a whole lot of cousin time into their summer.  We spent four days all together and then the older kids headed off to Discipleship Camp with Taido while we took the younger ones over to Hot Springs.

It’s always so fun for all the cousins to be together and I’ve been compiling a list of the sweet memories I’m grateful for from this visit!

(PS, this post would be no fun without the wonderful instagram skills of my family and friends, Whitney, Peter, Anna and Bryan)

daily trips to the pool

frogs

three bigs, three middles, three littles

having BOTH Anna AND Whitney around to make me laugh at myself

extra beds

extra sleep noises in the house at night

very fine toothed combs

hair consultants

our tenth cousin, Tony Hall

kids playing sardines at the new War Memorial Splash Park

my brother Peter, a big kid

my Mama Polly loving watching all the kids at the park

ZaZa’s patio

Boggle

Nertz

card games

box sledding

my brother being off work all week to play with us!

hot sunshine

shady spots

nature center treasure hunt

watermelon

boys gearing up to watch The Lord of the Rings

dart wars

sword fights

hide and seek

girls’ night

sundresses

french braids

elevator rides

all of us piled in the car singing to my Grandmother

Grandmother singing along

yummy food

ice cream, cupcakes, popsicles and more ice cream

Carol’s cookies

pedicures and manicures

sending kids off to DCamp

Ben’s enthusiasm about his first time as a camper

handing out t-shirts in the parking lot

watching Taido do his thing as everyone gets loaded up

so many precious adults and young adults going to help

wishing I was going, but glad to stay behind

having only 5 kids to 6 adults

beautiful morning on the patio at Wilson Point

drinking coffee

looking out at the water

soaking in Whitney’s parents’ generosity

cinnamon toast

yogurt

nonstop swimming and being in the sun

comfy pool chairs

reading magazines

reading a page of a book and falling asleep

the smell of sunscreen

watching Simon learn to go underwater

Simon’s joy at figuring out swimming

my sweet family working with him all day long

Phineas’ complete lack of fear

water guns and buckets

aloe in the fridge

ice maker that makes the perfect little cubes of yummy ice

getting my hands dirty in an exquisite kitchen

watching for pictures of the big kids at camp

seeing them smiling

the comfort of knowing that they are all in good hands

my parents’ relaxing, enjoying the kids

in and out of the hot tub

emily and wilson being the big kids for a few days

late night laughing

soft, cozy beds

cousins snuggled together

sticky red picnic tables at Cream Castle

vanilla shakes

fried catfish

hamburgers

the smell of the smoker out back

taking all the sleepy cousins to Peter and Whitney’s house to bed down

late night trip to Target

seeing my Mama smile

being in the same row at church with my brother and sister

Grandmother’s purse full of tootsie rolls

sad goodbyes

kids loving each other so, so much!

My heart is full.

The post Grateful for A Week with Cousins appeared first on Alison Chino.

P. Allen Smith and the Arkansas Soybean Promotion Board treated several Arkansas bloggers to a dreamy day of doing a few of my most favorite things:

walking, eating and storytelling.

I’m still soaking it all in.

I met lots of new friends, tasted new recipes, learned all about soybeans and filled my heart with farm stories.

I have a lot to share about this incredible day, so stay tuned!

Credits:

photos

aerial view of farm: P. Allen Smith website

Jerusalem, P. Allen Smith, me and Jim Carroll: Jerusalem Greer @ Jolly Goode Gal

bathtub: Stephanie McCratic @ Evolved Mommy

sleeping porch: Cara Wilkerson off the Bean2Blog Pinterest Board

Jerusalem and me: @Jerusalem Greer (instagram)

The post Soaking it all in at Moss Mountain Farm appeared first on Alison Chino.

I’m so grateful for all the years I’ve gotten to spend with him and for the journeys we still have ahead together.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

I cannot imagine doing life with anyone else.

It is more than fitting that we’re out in the mountains to mark this milestone birthday.

As I follow him up rocky paths, I am reminded of the many places he has lead us as a family.  We are so much the richer for his willingness to look for the next adventure.

Here’s to many, many more.

photos in the Crested Butte Aspens taken by Whitney Loibner on our family vacation this past July.  LOVE!

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