remember

i realized today as i was sitting by the lake that most days i am wearing three different scripture references right next to my skin. i went down to the lake to catch my breath and just enjoy a moment of quiet between the events of the day. i was holding my necklace and meditating on the scripture it represents and my mind wandered to this idea of actually carrying scripture around all the time to remind me of the truths i so desperately need to refer. then it sort of just came to me that i had three represented … Continue reading

who is great

in the moments of clarity between the clouds of sickness, i have been thinking a lot about what it means to be great. this has been a conversation on my heart for a while now. last weekend, a friend and i spent a late night talking about how we celebrate people’s failures because it makes us feel better about ourselves…because we have this idea that there can only be a few who are great. and then we studied matthew 18 in bsf this week, where the disciples ask jesus what it takes to be the greatest. working through those questions … Continue reading

hiding place

starting monday morning (and therefore my week) with yoga is one of the most sane choices i make in my schedule. and this morning, jeanne did not disappoint. she worked us hard, but again, you don’t realize how hard you are working. you’re just following…moving, holding, listening, moving, holding again, and on and on. then before i know it, i am drenched in sweat and falling heavily into the earth. i knew this morning that i was going to have trouble focusing. i woke up feeling sort of exposed. for many reasons, some that make sense and some that are … Continue reading

must it all end?

i usually find myself asking this question after new year’s. the kids are supposed to go back to school tomorrow, and i am always a little sad. i just feel like i want to pack them up and go somewhere far away. not helpful is that we received a couple of days ago the letter we get (almost) every year saying that our school’s scores are not “proficient” and we have the option of transferring to another one. it has all these statistics on it that are shocking and unfair and it sends me into a rant over the injustice … Continue reading

i might even wear my new apron and pass out cookies

i’m going to get up with taido tomorrow at church and this is what i am going to say. at least, i hope it is. i experience joy at christmas through children. there is a verse at the end of malachi that says, he will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents i have always loved that verse. i envision this time when we see the children around us. when we can hear their hearts. when we have made room for them in our day. i think at christmas … Continue reading

and my heart did sing

today i went to our regular early morning service at church and then, because a sweet friend of ours was singing in the choir, whitney and i raced over to make the 11 am service downtown at first pres. our friend had really downplayed her special christmas choir service and i had not given much forethought to what i would do with simon (throw him in a car with my brother and his boys as it turns out), so we almost did not go. it is sad to me that i would not have even known what a blessing i … Continue reading

searching for christmas books

Thursday night after yoga I went to a bookstore and sat in the children’s section for a long time with a pile of newly published Christmas books for children. I do this every year. Well, every year since I worked in a bookstore in Deerfield, Illinois while Taido was in seminary. One December night when I was working late in the children’s section, I was reading Christmas books for children.  The Christmas Miracle of Joanathan Toomey had just come out that year and it made me cry and feel happy and sappy and all warm inside. The illustrations were as … Continue reading

drive

yesterday i drove to chicago. again. i love to visit my sister, but this is getting a little ridiculous. she should definitely move closer. how about st. louis? they have a trader joe’s. which is, of course, the other big draw. anna and joe. oh, and a house full of girls. that’s mary polly’s motivation. she would just as soon move in. really. i think she would leave us for the davidsons. well, maybe not simon. but the rest of us for sure. anyway, 13 hours in the car. (i take my time when i drive alone…i have “pushed it” … Continue reading

food and God, or things we all need

i have been reading this book for several weeks. i started it because hello, anne lamott has the endorsement on the cover, and we all know that she is amazing. i would love to loan it to you, but it’s overdue at the library and someone else has it on reserve, thereby blocking my ability to renew it so i am forced to let my fines pile up while i finish it. this is a common annoying scenario in my life. anyway, one of the things blocking me from actually finishing the book is that it is actually like three … Continue reading

really home

oh yes, i’m still talking about crested butte. i could get in my car and drive back right now, even if i had to sit in a dead standstill on the highway because the interstate was flooded in oklahoma city, which is where i was when i wrote the following. taido drove the first leg from salida to walsenberg. he took this shortcut i’d forgotten about. at cotopaxi, you turn off onto a deserted mountain road that shaves a bit of time off the drive, a benefit of the many trips he and dad have made to colorado is that … Continue reading