that’s what she asked me. a gal i had dinner with tonight. we were talking. catching up. actually catching glimpses, because we are still getting to know one another, this gal and me. we have husbands who have been friends a while.
as we were talking, she asked me this out of the blue and i had to stop and think about it. am i happy? mostly i think that happiness is a choice we make every morning. a fight for a grateful heart that loves, instead of an entitled one that fears. but life comes around the corner and sometimes a little of this and a little of that mess with my fought for state of happiness, so i had to think about it.
fall is always funny because it starts out fun with new school things and cool weather (in some states) and then obligations start to pile up and the frenzy seems to sort of build towards the holidays. i am too busy right now. there is no doubt about that one. i would like to cut out some of what i have going on, but i can’t figure out what to let go of. i like to keep my commitments. i tell myself that i have no more going on than anyone else in my general life stage. i should be able to handle it. there is a lot of activity going on around me these days. a lot of crazy. i need way more quiet for my introverted personality than i am currently getting. i am looking for it in the crevices of my day. i stayed up until 2am last week one night just because i wanted to be alone in my house while it was quiet.
still, most of what i have going on…i chose. on purpose. and in spite of the fact that life at the chino house is currently making me very tired, it is a life i love. i love the flurry of my children. last night i walked in on simon standing on top of a chair at the art desk and grabbing markers as fast as his little fat fists could get them. mary polly and a friend flew by tonight with tape all over their mouths. cole came in and battled us about whether or not he really needed a shower after football practice. (does he really have to ask this every time? the answer never changes…) when i come to the end of the day, the little flashes of funny and quirky play over in my mind and i smile. i may need like a two week nap in january but i am happy. even in the mad rush of fall.
after our friends went home, i was finishing up my bsf lesson for tomorrow. (ummm…i might have procrastinated a little bit this week, i’m blaming my trip to dallas. which i will post about when i get my pictures uploaded…) and i read this verse.
for I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground;
and this one…
if anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.
whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said,
streams of living water will flow from within him.
i guess i am just loving water images today, but i have to go back to this place after a few days of crazy. really after every day, but sometimes it takes a few to push me there. but God is so good. he faithfully turns me back from a parched desert into a stream. a happy little stream.